A Journey back home
Today we publish an essay from a participant of kanthari 2021 course.
Nematullah Ahangosh is from Afghanistan. (This essay was written by him as a part of his application to kanthari.)
On a summer day, I was 13 years old, I remember that I didn’t sell enough on the streets. I was hungry, tired and I had to walk a long distance to reach home. When I passed the small restaurants, I just smelled the fine Afghan Kabab cooked almost in every street corner. I didn’t have money to eat nor take a bus, instead I walked seven KM to reach. I asked myself, why was I so slow? I didn’t know the answer. Until I realized that people called me “disabled”. Some called me “crippled” and some said, I was kidding myself because the way I was walking seemed more like someone intentionally dancing.
When I reached home, my mother wanted to help. She wanted to cook for me. But we had nothing to cook that night since my family sustained on daily wages that my brother and I earned. We hardly managed to have three meals per day for a family of six in those days. I kept quiet and slept without protesting.
Days passed, my balance and physical ability declined. It was then that I approached my mother for help. I didn’t know what help I was asking for. But she helped me to restart schooling despite my father’s and elder brother’s protest. In 2016, the Jesuit Refugee Service (JRS), an international NGO helped me fly to Delhi from Kabul for diagnosis. I was diagnosed with a rare disease called muscular dystrophy.
Now, while our financial situation is better, I look back and realize that I became independent and able to live life my way. Poverty, disability, and hard times made me strong enough to follow my dream.
Since I am suffering from muscular dystrophy, I want this disease to be the main focus of my future project.
Beside this, my project will also work on children’s education and empowerment of women. I think I was born to follow up on this dream project. What motivates me are: the hard times I went through, the ability of disability and my community.
About hard times, I would replace them with experiences because they were lessons. Lessons that one day I knew would be helpful. Yes, I faced those setbacks, but they failed to hinder me and couldn’t disappoint me for long. Perhaps the reason was that I always wanted to be wise. Or I tried to be wise at least. And am still in the wisdom path, as it is a long journey. I knew I was going to a journey that would take me not far but further. Today is the day to use all those wisdom and lessons, go further and stroll against all odds.
Regarding my abilities of disability, for others, disability might be absence of ability but for me it is presence of ability.
I believe that I am as able as other persons, and nothing can stop me to reach my dream.
My abilities of disability are to stay strong psychologically, to adapt, to unlock my potential, to teach alike people the same and to have a compassion to help others like myself to help themselves.
About my community, I ask myself questions like: Should the children of my community suffer due to lack of health awareness just like my family and I did?
How can I help those who are neglected due to muscles diseases and poverty? Do I have what it takes to do something about it?
While studying at Madras School of Social Work, I got more clarity, also because I had the chance to visit several NGOs that worked with persons with disabilities, with women and children. Slowly my ideas progressed. muscular dystrophy like I have myself. So far, no one is working on this topic in Afghanistan.
How bad I want to go home to Kabul and start this project!
I have to just start from somewhere, just start and give back to the community as much as the community gave to me, whether it was bad or good. In my case it was mostly good.
– The kanthari 2021 course has begun and Nematullah is on the path to realize his idea.