Eltrud Okeyo hails from Kisumu County in Western Kenya which borders Victoria Lake.
Kisumu County has the third-highest rate of HIV/AIDS in all of Kenya. According to the International Center for Alleviation of Poverty, Inc., 22-25% of Kisumu’s population is HIV positive. A high number of the population has left behind many orphans and elderly people. Eltrud witnessed firsthand what challenges this brings to the elderly, who are facing ageism. This has driven her to take action to provide support that is needed to restore their dignity.
Old age; honored or despised
By Eltrud Okeyo
As I was walking along the lonely, deserted path in my village, my attention was captured, and diverted towards a lonely standing thatched house, with cracked walls and a rusted iron sheet roof. As the rainy season was on, water was surrounding the homestead. Just adjacent behind the house lies a slightly raised ground with crosses on them.
Inside, Lewnida was seated at the furthest end of the room facing up and lamenting. The room was slightly dark with the only light coming from a tin lamp placed inside a plastic container so the wind cannot blow out the flame. Her seven grandchildren were coiled in a corner while the eldest in grade three was struggling with her homework. Lewnida was 80 years old, she got married in 1957 to the late Hesborn, a man who was blind since birth. Looking back, she had a life that was filled with joy. She and her husband used to knit mats and sell them at a nearby market. The husband was also a pastor and through that, they got their daily meals without fail.
Despite remaining childless for almost 10 years after her marriage, Lewnida became a mother of seven children: three girls and four boys. Everyone was close to each other, and they enjoyed many family moments together. Her children were contributing to the household and at the age of 10, they all knew how to perform the house chores which made work easier for her. She had great dreams for her children, she dreamt of them becoming a doctor, a teacher, or even a farmer.
But she didn’t know what life was about to bestow on her. In 1990 when the firstborn was only 23 years, her husband succumbed to an unknown disease which later was identified as HIV/AIDS.
Suddenly she struggled and it wasn’t possible to keep the children in school. Instead, the daughters got married at an early age, and also the sons soon brought their wives home. Grandchildren were born and then Lewnida faced the hardest and most hurting moments of her life. One of her daughters-in-law died while giving birth at home. Her own daughter got into an accident and died, the second-born son was swept away by the great floods of the Kano plains while crossing a river, and the last-born boy after witnessing all this misery, couldn’t cope and had a mental breakdown from which he never recovered.
After the death of her children, and other children nearby who died of HIV & AIDS Lewnida was accused of witchcraft. People fled away from her saying she was a bad omen and others accused her of being responsible for all the occurrences. The in-laws were bitter and tried to chase her away. Since then, life has been a huge struggle, her advancing age is even making it much harder, her body aches, her vision is deemed and her hearing capability has partially disappeared, she forgets a lot, she is suffering from Tuberculosis and fears infecting her grandchildren who greatly look up to her.
She feels lonely, and her immediate friend Sara is too old to pay her a visit, in fact, they rarely see each other. Sara’s situation is even worse. She is over 95 years and cannot work or stand on her own thus if she is left out to bask in the sun, she waits until a good Samaritan comes by to help her to get back in the house.
Lewnida feels that society has robbed her dignity as she is seen as a burden and begging for help remains her only way of survival. Regrets and bitterness are her daily songs yet deep inside she feels she has a lot of value and wishes things could change in her favor.
Unfortunately, Lewnida is not alone. There are many Lewnidas in the Kisumu region and beyond. Yet, there are no facilities for her where she could get support. This inspired me to set up a place where older people can get assistance in the form of food, water, security, clothing, and medical care. It is my goal to make sure that the elderly in my community keep their dignity till the day they depart.
